God created beauty from ashes

Let God arise and His enemies be scattered.

I had studied law and had always hoped to be a barrister. Pupillage is a year-long period of training, like an apprenticeship but for lawyers. Like a training contract but for barristers. It is statistically hard to get and EXTREMELY competitive. Some people try for years and send hundreds of applications. I didn’t.

Last year was a year of convergence for me (and was the word that had been spoken over my church). After having a second interview for a job I wanted and possibly the worst interview of my life, I looked up the definition of convergence. It means coming together and consolidation to coincide.

I tried to praise God for the closed doors but I also felt dejected and despondent. During the interview, my mind went completely blank and I panicked - it was like nothing I had experienced before. Someone told me it was an attack of the enemy. I was unconvinced.

Does God stop being God because things don’t go the way I had hoped?

Why would God leave me in the midst of it?

Not my God.

I was reminded of God's promises to me. In November 2017, God through my pastor told me that I would have reason to celebrate in 18 months. I calculated and I knew that would be May 2019, a month where all pupillage offers are released. I thanked God for the promise and I rested knowing He would complete that which He started.

Fast forward 16 months. I applied making just 6 applications.

That morning I walked into church and a pastor in my church prophesied to me saying that “you are worth that interview”. A stranger had also randomly indicated to me that they knew I had an interview and encouraged me.

Between the week of the interview and the outcome, the enemy tried to play havoc with my mind. However, the Lord comforted me, he heard me out of His Holy Hill. He reminded me of the word He had sent forth. I began to read through my notebooks and remembered all the times God had kept His promises. I reflected on how God had used the second interview experience to show me how powerful my thoughts are and how no amount of preparation could take His place. He had already been preparing me for many years, I just couldn’t see it in the same way. God is not a cruel God. I had to be intentional about my thoughts and I chose to meditate on all the things that made me smile. God has a phenomenal sense of humour. Throughout my first-round interview I was telling the panel stories about rejection and other experiences and together we laughed. Every story basically depicted how God had turned something terrible into something beautiful.

Later, I got an email. I had got a pupillage offer and also found out I was their first choice!

There is redemption in rejection

I’m still amazed at the work God has done in me. He told me that the one they rejected will become the chief cornerstone. There was a time when my lecturer at university told me to go and work for a local authority – a route seen as less lucrative and easier to get into. There was also a time when a recruiter told me to go and retake my A levels (B,C,D). Yes, they were that bad. But what are qualifications to a very big God?

The truth is that God has given me above and beyond what I could ever think or imagine. The place I wanted to go to doesn’t really compare. The knowledge and the network I have been able to build during this waiting period has been invaluable. In 2015, God said to me that the rich would seek my favour and that has been happening. People who are much more senior than me ask me for advice and career guidance and I always try to help. The truth is, it has nothing to do with me, God is no respecter of persons. He took me out of a dark pit and removed the veil. A God that is love who gives peace that surpasses all understanding. I have come to learn that the way to the top is through prayer and commitment to the kingdom and, as a result, doing my Father’s work has been a most high privilege.

This journey has also taught me that you will be rejected and ridiculed at times. You may even feel stagnated but all of these things make you a prime candidate for God's transformative power. There’s no prerequisite.

My future colleagues have undergraduate and postgraduate qualifications from Oxbridge and the last person they recruited has a doctorate. I don't. I went to a non-Russell Group university, I come from a single parent family, a low-socio economic background and I am a black woman. What does any of this mean to a very wise God?

My place in His Kingdom is based on availability not ability.

To God be the Glory.