Lessons during lockdown

If you had asked me a couple of months ago about how I managing with life in lockdown, I would have gone on a long rant and complained to you about my increased workload, the challenges of working from home with a toddler while being heavily pregnant, and the tag-team approach I was having to adopt with my husband while we both juggled numerous video calls and online meetings. In fact, this is how I spent probably the first month and a half of lockdown, particularly as the online meetings and emails increased and we had to try and explain to our nearly-3-year old why she couldn’t go to nursery, see her friends at church or play in the park. This being alongside the fact that mummy and daddy had to do a lot of work at home and it wasn’t just an extended holiday. The more I complained, the more I felt justified in and somehow empowered in doing so. I continued to operate in the flesh and therefore I was displaying the characteristics of the flesh, speaking with frustration and resentment and operating with a selfish mindset.

That was until one day I was speaking to a close friend who said she was still going into her workplace during the period of lockdown as the nature of her work meant that she still had to have face-to-face interactions with her clients. She was also trying to manage her workload while homeschooling her two children and the wifely duties alongside her husband who was working intensely at home! She didn’t come with a rant or with endless complaints but rather told me that she was really seeing how God was working through the Holy Spirit to help her with all the things she needed to do. Also that He had been keeping her in good health and providing divine protection in an environment where many people were not adhering to the social distancing guidelines! She told me that as she was learning to lean on God more, the Holy Spirit was making everything easier!

After hearing her say this, I really began to feel convicted about the way I had been complaining about my workload and the fact I hadn’t actually sought God in the situation but just continued to complain about everything without even counting my blessings. I may have mentioned these as acknowledgements in prayers but I hadn’t really truly stopped to thank Him for keeping me and my family in good health, or thank him for the fact that we both still had jobs with full pay and I hadn’t really stopped to really pray for those on the frontline, those who had lost loved ones or others who were battling ill-health. The gentleness with which she described her situation was a complete contrast to the way I had been complaining about mine and from that day onwards I started to make a special effort to seek God and not just my own comfort. I made extra time to pray about things and to look outside of myself to Him and also think of others.

When I did this, my perspective began to change and I began to see the period of lockdown as another opportunity for me to grow and develop under God’s direction! I studied the Word more intently and began to be convicted even more. This happened particularly on one occasion when I was led to read Philippians chapter 4. God was telling me, don’t just read verses in isolation, ALL of the words are important. As I began to read, He spoke to me and I realized, I wasn’t making time to ‘rejoice’ (verse 4) and anyone who was listening to my rants definitely wasn’t seeing any evidence of my ‘reasonableness’ (verse 5) so it was no wonder that I wasn’t really finding that ‘peace’ (verse 7)!

A week later, I was asked to give a talk to the students and young adult group at my church during one of their online meetings. This may not seem extraordinary but I have literally NEVER, I mean NEVER EVER spoken to a group of adults about God before or shared a word with anyone! It’s a whole other testimony but I am someone who can teach children but speaking in front of adults voluntarily is something that has no appeal for me whatsoever and brings a great deal of discomfort! The fact this was online and not in person didn’t detract from the enormity of the task and I even began to question the leader who had asked me. Was he sure about this? As a dear friend of ours, he knows what I’m like and that I would never sign up to do something like this! Who had he spoken to that had made him ask me? Had my husband dropped me in it? My husband is always trying to get me out of my comfort-zone and there’s a lot I wouldn’t have achieved without his encouragement! Nonetheless, my friend, who is the leader of the group for young adults and students, was very sure that he wanted to me to do this and he said he was sure that whatever I shared would bless those who would be listening. So there I was, with a not a clue with what I was going to speak about, how I was going to speak and to be honest a great feeling of dread when I thought about how this would play out!

Literally the next day, God told me to share my life story and my life journey for this talk I was going to give. He gave me the structure, the Bible passages to refer to and suddenly I was ready.

When the evening of the talk came the following week, as I spoke, God directed my words. At the end, many of the students and young people I had spoken to said that they had been blessed and encouraged and that a lot of what I had shared had spoken to their current situations! See God!

Had I continued operating in the flesh, I would have not been in a place to see outside of my situation and bless others. Had I continued just complaining and not seeking Him, this opportunity would have just passed me by!

Funnily enough, the more I sought Him, the more manageable work became, even when it wasn’t! My workload continued to increase as redeployment happened with staffing and responsibilities for tasks! There were so many nights when the Holy Spirit just gave me inspiration and energy for the tasks I needed to complete! There were so many occasions where I was able to do a week’s worth of work in one evening which then freed me up to spend more time with our daughter and relax more. Those of you who know the tiredness that can hit you when you’re in your third trimester of pregnancy can testify that this is a miracle!

God is really faithful and as much as you hear it, when you look to Him, He really does change things for your good and for the good of others! The Holy Spirit is really a helper when allow Him to be!