Love with purpose

My husband, Alex, and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage on 30th June 2020 with our 3 children Jeriah, Zachary and Ariana who are 6, 3 and 1 years old. We are also now the senior pastors of Alive City Church based in Croydon. Alex and I have known each other for years as our mums went to secondary school together back in Kofuridua, Ghana. So, when both emigrated to the UK and attended the same church, Alex became my senior in Sunday School for a short while.

My dad was an 11+ tutor in the 1990s and became Alex’s tutor along with most Ghanaian kids that lived in South-East London! Alex and I, by this time were in different churches. Alex had started going to his local catholic church to tick the box of church attendance and my family had since moved to another church, coincidentally, Alex’s uncles church. I would see Alex occasionally, and his mother would always say that I will be Alex’s wife. She was matchmaking us when I wasn’t even double digits and Alex and I never really spoke! He was awkward and shy, and I was embarrassed every time she paraded her prophecies of marriage.

I became a born-again Christian at the age of 16, the Easter before my GCSEs and baptised the Sunday before my Latin exam. I was zealous and truly unashamed of the gospel which had saved me and changed me. A year later, I was learning to drive and eager to get my first car. I had heard that Alex was selling a black polo and thought that it would be a great candidate for a little run-a-round. I got in touch, after not speaking or seeing Alex for a few years. Instantly, I found his voice attractive, if I am honest (little did I know it was just his preaching voice yet to be revealed!). We arranged to meet the very next day for a viewing. Unknown to me at the time the car ended up being dodgy and complete waste of time to view, but Alex and I had good conversation. I invited him to my church and he reluctantly agreed to come. He hadn’t been to a charismatic church in a while and had lots of questions about what would happen there. He was questioning Christianity in general and wasn’t keen. I calmed his fears and used that fact it was a youth event, so it would be fun if anything. Alex honoured his word, and although came very late, caught the fiery message that was preached. Alex responded to the altar call and gave his life to Jesus that same day!

Following Alex’s conversion, we became friends. I discipled him and would encourage him to attend prayer meetings and to read his Bible. Alex went from looking at the projector screen with his hands firmly by his side in church during worship, to leading worship and starting a gospel group, called Divine Impact. It was clear there was a calling on his life. Jesus was bringing out his purpose, and he went from this shy, awkward young man to a confident leader. We have spoken every day since his conversion but started dating about a year later. Our personal relationship with Jesus as individuals kept us focussed. We decided to not have sex before marriage, not because it was easy, but because the Bible had called us to purity. We finally got married in June 2012, having bought our first property a couple of months before. I was 23 years old and Alex would turn 25 in the August.

It’s Valentines 2020, and we have been together for over a decade, spending 13 valentine days with each other. What I have learnt is that God has our whole lives in his hands and knows everything. Was it a coincidence that our mums went to school together? That I needed to buy a car and Alex was selling one? I gave him an invitation to church just as his heart was open to hearing and accepting the Gospel? I don’t think so. One thing though, I am SURE OF, is that words are very powerful. No doubt did my mother-in-law’s consistent confession shape the future and contribute to Alex and I being together, united in marriage, today. We have since birthed three children and an amazing church that seeks revival in London. Who would have guessed marriage gives birth to purpose, and so I also want to encourage you that every marriage was put together for purpose - love and purpose! So as you seek love do not forget purpose.