Our journey to the altar (part 1)

After asking my girlfriend’s parents for their daughter’s hand in marriage, I proposed in February 2020 and together, we set the wheels in motion for a September wedding this year. Even though we realised that this would give us a shorter than average time to prepare, after prayer and counsel, we decided that we didn't want to delay our union unnecessarily and trusted that God would move as we continued to lean on Him and save towards our big day. True to His character, God did just that and we experienced great favour with booking the suppliers we wanted at the venue we wanted in the month that we wanted within a matter of weeks of getting engaged.

A few more weeks then passed and what we all now understand to be the pandemic caused by COVID-19 arose. We watched the situation unfold closely and saw the devastating effects that this virus was having across the globe. As well as the health risk posed, markets across the world were being affected significantly as nations started to enforce countrywide lockdowns. The lockdown, in particular, affected the wedding industry with many venues being forced to shut during the months of March-June 2020 and suppliers temporarily unable to operate.

We monitored the situation closely but it became increasingly clear that we wouldn't be able to have the wedding that we had prayed for if we continued to proceed with plans for this year. Loved ones (including my fiancées mum who was in the highest risk category) may not have been able to be present due to social distancing requirements and family members who were abroad or vulnerable due to age may have also struggled to attend. In addition, at the time of writing, COVID-19 disproportionately affects people from BAME communities which the majority of our guests belonged to. The reasons for this are still unknown so it felt incredibly irresponsible to proceed when we could not guarantee that our guests would be safe.

In light of this, we started the process of speaking to the venue to try and move the celebration to a date next year. However, at this point, all of our concerns were met with generic answers. Week after week, we would ask for an update but the venue didn't seem to budge. They seemed very adamant that they could not help us at this time and ultimately told us that the only way we would be able to move our date at no extra cost at this stage would be if the venue was forced to shut by the government – something that we would not find out until much nearer the time. Outside of this situation, any request to move the date would be treated as a cancellation which would require us to pay a cancellation fee and the venues fees for 2021 (which would total an additional £12k!). For those who may be wondering how this was even possible, from a legal standpoint, the venue was within its contractual rights to do this as, at the point of our request, they would (in theory) still be able to perform their end of the bargain.

We did not want to have to wait weeks before the wedding before we could firm up our plans but the venue's refusal felt like a giant and we were not prepared to pay the charge. We also still wanted to use this venue. The charge felt unfairly penal given that no one could have predicted this state of affairs to occur but we trusted that God would not let us suffer loss. As mentioned above, in our journey to the altar so far, God had moved many times already and consistently shown us that He was with us every step of the way (another testimony will be posted on this after our wedding!).

So we kept reminding ourselves to remain hopeful and to live out what Paul meant in Phillipians 4:6:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

With that understanding, we dived into nightly prayer, shifting our focus from appealing to God for intervention to thanking Him for declaring and securing victory over this issue. We prayed specifically to move the date of the white wedding to 2021 without incurring any cost. We were firm in faith that God would hear us in this time even when wedding venues were doing as much as possible to minimise their losses.

Week after week passed and still no change in the venue's decision but we remained expectant. In fact, at times, it even felt as though the venue was becoming stronger in its decision that we would have to go ahead with this year if we did not want to incur additional cost. Then a few more weeks later, the venue's manager called my fiancée out of the blue to confirm that the venue was finally prepared to move our wedding date to next year free of charge. Though we would both maintain that we had faith that God would act, He surprised us with how quickly He moved! We had expected that we would have to write to MPs (we had even drafted letters) and possibly even go down a legal route to challenge the venue, taking us worryingly close to the booked wedding date. However, none of that was required.

Even as I write this testimony now, I am still in shock! Nothing in the natural had really changed and the arguments that we had made before the venue for changing our date had remained consistent so it was really the grace of God. To further contextualise how much God moved, we know of other couples who were also due to get married in September 2020 and have been charged for moving their dates.

God is good and will continue to be good. As things stand, we are praying that we can still start married life this year by having a small registry once lockdown eases, with the celebration that we have planned taking place next year.

In this time of uncertainty, I hope that this testimony can be encouragement to you that God can make a way when there seems to be no way at all. Prayer and supplication to God with thanksgiving is all we need. Keep believing, keep praying and keep giving thanks – God hears, listens and responds always.