Remarriage after divorce

I grew up in the church and always had a relationship with God. I ended up meeting a man when I was fairly young and got married to him. We were both Christians but the relationship was incredibly toxic and abusive. I suffered a lot during those years but was so afraid of leaving him because I didn't want to be judged or have to deal with the stigma or label of being a divorcee. In addition, we had two young children so I was incentivised to stay in the marriage for them. I didn't want my children to be products of divorce and paradoxically (though, I've since learnt, not unusually), he was a great father in many ways. I decided to stay for some time until my youngest child entered secondary school, at which point my marriage had reached breaking point and I felt as though I couldn't take any more of the abuse, adultery and myriad of other issues that I endured. I sought counsel and was released from my church to get a divorce.

So there I was. All of a sudden, in my mid-30s, I found myself divorced. I was broken but I thank God for his comfort during such a difficult time. So many people covered me during this time and helped me and I remain eternally grateful. I got to a point where I was ok without having a companion and I also forgave my ex husband, even though it was hard to get to that point. Of course, it would be nice to have been able to share my life with someone like so many of my friends and family members, but I learned to be content on my own and knew that I was grateful to be free from an abusive marriage.

Then several years later, I ended up meeting my now-husband! Whilst I had not planned on remarrying, God allowed me to find a man who was willing to love me past all of my hurt and baggage. He served in our church and although we did not know each other prior to us courting and getting married (I attend a very large church), when we did meet, it felt like God was teaching me how to love myself again, flaws and all, through this man. This man truly loved God. He made God a priority in his life. He wasn't simply churchgoer. He challenged me to be better and treated me with the utmost respect. When he asked me to marry him, it was a no brainer.

We've now been married for over 25 years to the glory of God and he has been my purpose partner! We still serve the Lord and our children have been able to have the blessing of witnessing a true God-centred and healthy relationship which is something I wasn't able to give them in my first marriage, even though I thought I was protecting them by staying with their father.

I thank God for His endless mercies and for taking what seemed like a mess and turning it into my biggest blessing. God hates divorce because of the trauma and pain that it brings but He doesn't hate the divorcee. If you are someone who has experienced abuse or divorce, don't give up hope on thinking that God has abandoned you. Whatever your situation looks like, God is still moving and I believe that what the Lord has done for me, He will do for others.